Pain

It comes in many forms, shapes, sizes, and ways. You don't always recognize it at first, but when it hits, it's one of the worst feelings there is.

I have had a lot of pain in my life. (Don't get me wrong the good far out-weighs the bad in my life, it's just today, I'm experiencing the bad part of it.)

I'm a very emotional person in the sense that I let me thoughts/emotions/feelings get in the way of some of the relationship/friendship moves that I make.

I hate the feeling of being stabbed in the back. I've personally never had that physical feeling, but I've had the emotional feeling quite a few times over the course of many, many years of different friendships. I think that statement of being "stabbed in the back" has a lot of weight because it depicts the exact action of someone "taking advantage" of you and "killing" you while you're not even aware of what's going on.

Here are a couple of examples:

Someone says something to your face, and then when they think you aren't watching they do the exact opposite of what they said. Not only was it a bold faced lie, but they were cowardly about it and tried to do it behind your back. Now....that's an extreme case, and doesn't happen very often especially with close friends, but it is feasible.

Then there are other times when you put all you have into a relationship/friendship.....I mean, you put your entire life and being into that relationship knowing that the other person will return at least a small portion of that effort right? Wrong! They return something that isn't even worthy of acknowledgement right? Right. That's a totally different case altogether.

Then you have the rare case that almost never happens when both of those situations are true at the same time. You put everything you have into that relationship/friendship and then not only does the person not return even a small portion of it, they do the unthinkable and lie to your face and then try to get away with it behind your back. That's a really terrible situation to be in. Well....as I've now learned from experience....trust me.....it happens.

This is what I am currently learning though....be comfortable and content with God and the pain is much less. It's much less because you have that friend (God) who is there and who would never and can never cause you any pain. He's the perfect friend....he's closer than a brother. When you're all alone and you need someone to talk to.....He's there...and He's given you a guidebook to follow called the Bible because He's been there and experienced it all before. Not to mention He's perfect.

So all that to say this.....for now.....I'm going to work on my friendship with God and get to know Him better, and hopefully the other relationships will improve as a result and no more pain will follow.

Live for Him,
Stephen